Well, I have a new project…a portrait of this little sweet one named Prince. I hope I can do him justice! He hasn’t been feeling well recently but I am hoping he is better now. I love him! Of course I will post the finished piece here and on Facebook…I am such a ham. I sold a painting and may have another one sold! It’s exciting. I am so blessed to have God working in my life with my art! Thank you Pat! I have a new day and I am grateful!
I have done several works of art lately and I am finding out that I love the inspirational/crafty things so much better than trying to do a pet portrait or realistic subject matter. It is fun to experiment with color and design and text! I get a lot of inspiration from my facebook friends or just looking at other folks works. I am finding ideas coming from God and definitely the inspiration and ability is from Him! Just a note of thanks to my creator! And thank you to all my friends for the encouragement and sweet comments! This style feels right! Thank you God for this day! The painting is called “Fish Magic” and is by a Swiss artist named Paul Klee, one of my favorites!
It’s a beautiful snowy day here in Emerson, in fact it is the only snowy day here…we have had ice but nothing like this white powder that is falling today. So lovely and lyrical. Finches and siskins and chippings are enjoying the feeders as usual and are a beautiful contrast against the white background. The robins have taken cover for now. It is such a novelty for me but I know that it is a pain in the a** for drivers and those who work outside. Now for another subject…I have become a hog!
This new antidepressant is making me very hungry and I won’t say that I have gained any weight (10 lbs) but I have been eating and enjoying my food like my little hog friends in the neighborhood. At this rate I will gladly go in halves to purchase a trailer to haul me around in and display me at all of the local festivals…especially those serving funnel cakes and fried oreos and hot dogs (sorry, pig!). It may be that I will go back to my original prozac and just be content with my mood being only fair instead of elevated. I will talk to the doc about it. Meanwhile I may have to suffer and show some restraint. At least most of the fattening food is gone…I ate it! Now I am left with fruit and veggies, smoked turkey, healthy bread and only a small piece of a block of velveeta…I will eat that first, of course! I had some pinto beans yesterday that were very good and will make some kind of chicken today that is healthy…supposedly! And lots of salad for the rest of the week. Well, enough! Gotta get another cup of coffee…and check my trough! Stay warm.
I had a good day yesterday working on art stuff over at Nugene’s and Tami’s place. I have been inspired by a woman named Tracy Weinzapfel who is an artist and she does inspirational art and decor and has a wonderful studio somewhere in California. Anyway, the topic is “friends” and I just enjoyed being with Nugene and Nannie and working on something that did not require subjective matter…it was colorful and free! When I’m there Nugene sorta waits on my like my Momma does at home even though she has a few health problems. People like Nugene and Momma have the old school ways of working from morning till bedtime and Momma still is in her kitchen at home cooking soup or banana bread for someone even though she is hunched over with bad arthritis and terrible feet. Nugene has breathing problems but is still valiantly fighting the battle of floors with pet hair and muddy footprints and making fruitcakes and Texas Trash and doing laundry and general all purpose household stuff. I was raised to be like them but it never took. I think it is because of my “me” generation and my general laziness. I really need to be tidier. Anyway, I love Nugene dearly because she is Momma’s age group but she has always been easy to talk to about anything and understands more about my weirdness than most. I appreciate her! All of the friends that I have now are so supportive and accepting of my depressed mind and I am grateful. I think ladies of her time (especially the churchgoers) have a tireless spirit of helpfulness and duty to the cause of doing good for others. When I attend any church dinner there are always those dedicated women who are the backbone of the fellowship, most in their seventies now…I hope there are a few of the younger generation that will take over when they are gone but I fear that my generation will never be up their standard. And that is sad…but at least we have hundreds of bad reality shows to watch! Ha! Tell someone that you love them today and give a hug to someone who probably needs it!
Well the birthday has come and gone and was insignificant…or was it? A year ago I was heavier and could not move around as well as I do now. I moved to Emerson, I met new friends, I found a church with amazing members, I spent time with some of my favorite people, I bought a car, I have a grand-niece that is healthy, I did some artwork, I laughed and cried and learned a few things about myself and I made a stab at writing down my thoughts. And now I have a blog! Therefore I consider the past year a success! But what is important is this day! It was cool to see all of the birthday posts on FB. I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes, such sweet friends to put up with my weirdness, my depression, my apathy, my crying jags, my loud laughter and annoying phrases!
I am grateful also to be sober today! Thanks be to God for all of my gifts, especially for the people in my life! This picture of me is my “morning face” and is non-enhanced except the sunshine kinda made a blurry focus like a Barbra Streisand close-up. Take time today to breathe and to notice that around Emerson there are yellow jonquils everywhere to enjoy! Later!
One of my favorite movies is “Hannah and Her Sisters” by Woody Allen. In the movie a poem by e.e. cummings is featured and I love it.
From W [Viva] (1931)
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot tough because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully,mysteriously)her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
I see my psychiatrist today. I am on a new antidepressant and am chomping at the bit for it to be increased to a dose that helps me. This will be the 4th of this category called SSRI’s and I am hoping that this one will be it. I watched a movie called “Prozac Nation” yesterday and saw myself in the lead character…although she was a beautiful actress (Christina Ricci) and I am a lump. But anyway her character acts weird and is depressed and difficult to be around sometimes and feels everything to the extreme! I can relate. I fight every day to keep myself going even though lately I have been apathetic and hopeless feeling. It will pass. I know this and I trust in God to change things for me. I don’t know why I am blogging this other than to say that I will get better and will have more funny stuff to say when I get out of this dark period. My friends are the best because they accept me the way I am and have been such a help to me. I wonder if anyone else out there has depression who would like to share…if so give me a comment. PS: I can’t get enough of that goat!
Last night I got an email notification that the University of Alabama School of Music went live on Ustream…My nephew Jake is a grad student there and sometimes they show their performances live on video via this service. I had no idea that there were so many live camera feeds and shows on Ustream. They have bald eagle and owl nest cams, city cams, Mardi Gras cams, kitten cams, kid cams and all kinds of foreign country TV shows and cams. Even video game cams in which you watch someone play on their PS3 or whatever. There really are grown geeks who live their lives in video games and they are all over the world! Last night I watched a woman paint a picture! She is a craft artist and she has a facebook page here: Tracy Weinzapfel Studios www.facebook.com
Well it’s cold and rainy here in Emerson this morning. I ventured out of my bed to look out onto the front porch and see about 50 finches on the porch eating seeds from the feeders which were near empty. I filled them and have been enjoying the show. Along with finches there are a few chippings and pine siskins and the juncos eating on the ground. They are comical and fun! The pine siskin looks like a goldfinch that is streaky brown and it is said that they are frequently in the same flocks when migrating. I love these birds and they make me happy and I think they like me too. Or maybe it is the black oiled sunflower seeds! If you want to cheer up your life get a bird feeder and in the spring get a hummer feeder. I am a simple soul, thankfully, and this stuff makes me content.
This and a great cup of coffee! Have a great day everyone!